The Real Rarities

Today's Presentation of 1000 ways to blog is all about fresh fruits. Today we only feature the real rarities Oranges Pineapples and Lemons. Right now I have a can of pineapple slices sitting on top of a stack of DVDs on my desk. Lately my new thing is to take a cup of hot water and squeeze lemon juice into it. It is a very nice drink that soothes my voice after a whole night of screaming profanities in the dark. I really like to buy that mixed variety of orange pineapple juice made by The DOLE canned fruit company, nothing hits the spot quite like it. Its all I need to put a spring in my step and a smirk on my ugly mug. It was  a quiet morning full of jumping jacks and high knees, part of a new fitness routine that relies on footwork instead of heavy lifting. Watch out because this summer no basketball court is safe from the power and fury of Air Frank. Its gonna be a long day. Had some coffee with my Brother Dane and to conclude our nutritious breakfast course we celebrated with a shot of straight up pineapple juice. I called this blog "The Real Rarities" because its a quote from "Schindler's List" which I watched recently for the first time. Not only is the film a masterpiece but there is this great scene where Schindler is telling these guys what he wants to put in these gift baskets for Nazi Officers. Now first of all Nazi's can Fuck themselves. Second of all what I think is cool about the scene is that it lets you know what kind of food and beverages were considered luxurious at that time. For example he asks them for Cuban cigars, Hennesy, A chunk of chocolate as big as a mans hand that you would sample at wine tastings, "and who could live without German Cigarettes." In addition to these other goods he also orders Dom Perignon and Fresh Fruit "The Real Rarities Oranges, Lemons, and Pineapples." It was a really great movie.

Writing Wrongs

Sometimes I get pissed off and decide that all my blogs are pieces of shit that don't even deserve to be read. I must admit that as a writer it is a very depressing mental state to be in. You can't really shake the negative vibes and every thought you put down on the page ends up sounding forced and whiny. Oh how I relish the days when the voices in my head (The creative one and the critical one) are in perfect agreement and it is easy to execute my craft. On days like these hours seem to fly by while my fingers dance across the keys. 
 A good and well spent writing session is one of the most pleasurable things i can think of doing with an afternoon, although there are other considerations. It is hard to decide what I prefer, typing or long hand writing. Both get the job done but something about the long hand method just feels right. Typing certainly helps you to keep up with the high speeds your mental voice can achieve. Sometimes it's hard to keep up when writing by hand. I wish that everyone had a chance to experience the joy of commanding language to communicate ideas in a creative and artistic manner. It truly is one of my favorite hobbies. 

Mr. Weedman Draft 1

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong 
Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong
Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong
Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong
Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong


Mr. Weedman bring me some trees
(Bong Bong Bong Bong)
Bring me some nuggets and bring me some leaves
(Bong Bong Bong Bong)
Give me a mix white widow and clover
(Bong Bong Bong Bong)
Mr. Weedman please come over


Weedman pick up the phone
(Bong Bong Bong Bong)
Drove past your house I know that your home
(Bong Bong Bong Bong)
Please I'm feeling like a fiend
Mr. Weedman bring me some green

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Mister Weedman bring me some trees
Bring me some nuggets and bring me some leaves
Give me the biggest bag you've got at your place
Mr. Weedman I need to blaze


Weedman I'm so alone
I need some ganja so I can get stoned
No stems no sticks and please no seeds
Mr. Weedman bring me some weed

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Bong Bong Bong Bong Bong

Mr. Weedman (Yes?)
Bring us some budz
Give us a bag of your finest nugz
Mr. Weedman please 
Mr. Weedman bring me some weed

It is sung in the style of these wonderful young ladies. Sure is nice to hear such a nice Song.