Maximum Pain

I started posting videos on you tube to promote my comedic talents to a broader audience. There is no real plan here. Simply throwing stuff out there to try and attract a following of people who like to watch weird people act weird. This video is me poking fun of Max Pain, Preparation H, and the acting style used in most pain medication commercials. Hope you like. Gotta go there is a re run of Married with Children on and there are a lot of babes looking hot and I can no longer concentrate on the task at hand. Good day to you all.  

No Exceptions No Excuses Part 0

Lets get in the Gym!

For most of the year so far I have been slacking on my workouts. I never seem to be able to stick to any consistent regiment. Usually I get started and one of two things happens. 1. I get really drunk one night and the hangover is so brutal that I simply cannot workout the following day or I workout way to hard and the muscle soreness is so great that it makes me want to take a few days off. One of my roommates (David "Flashlight" West) has been putting in a lot of work at the gym and eating right. I see him making progress and it makes me want to improve my own physique. My seasonal job as The Most Interesting Barback In The World at The Wrigley Rooftops has started again and that means a lot of keg hauling.....even more incentive to get in better shape (those things are heavy) I am writing all this out to illustrate my current mindset and to announce that I will be publishing a post later this Summer as a follow up on my new workout plan which I am calling the "No Exceptions, No Excuses" workout plan. I'm mostly posting this so that all of you can read it and see if I stick to my word. Be on the lookout for all of the epic workout plans I have on the way. Lets get in shape this summer so we can get attention from hot babes. 

Dale Fanella

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

I was at the Bulls Game when Derek Rose tore his ACL. I saw it happen (from the upper deck) I cannot express how heartbroken I am for him. I think people that take pro sports to seriously are losers but I feel that something like this transcends sports drama. This guy is so humble and like able. How could this happen? I remember that in the stands we all thought that he wasn't hurt all that bad and we all started chanting "MVP, MVP, MVP" Hoping for him to get up and let us know he was okay. He never did. Later in the day I was talking with a friend who was watching on tv and said that rose appeared to know immediately that he was severely injured. Then I thought about how when everyone was chanting "MVP" Derek already knew he was done. How bad he must have felt. I feel like it was the equivalent of seeing Mufasa get killed or watching the one ewok try to wake up the other one who died during the battle at the end of "Return of the Jedi" Then today I saw that jackass at Nike was making fun of Roses injury. Have you no decency. The nicest guy in the league, never done anything wrong to anyone and your gonna take a cheap shot at him because he didn't endorse your company's shoes? What an ass. I'd like to bust his knee and then see how funny he thinks it is. Derek Rose kind of reminds me of Chicago and all its hard working citizens. I know he will be back but I just bummed that this happened to him.  I still feel that the Bulls still have a shot at the title but its going to be a tough battle to win without the MVP. Hang in there Derek we are all pulling for you.

Dale Fanella

Spring Cleaning

I have been hard at work lately working on new material and organizing all my old work into easily accessible spaces at my desk and desktop. Decided to take a break when I found this old verse I wrote last summer while living in Roscoe Village. It's to the beat of GZA'S Amplified Sample Instrumental. 

Heineken Bros

I work for the radio rap in the underground

Lifting one up trying to put the other down

I'm clown in disguise in a mid size frame

been a face without a brain ever since I could hang

Had too many friends fucked up on the weekends

In a smokey haze fucked up on the weekdays

Laugh and pretend the problem doesn't exist

until your at the open mic number one on the list

with no k hits and you cant spit shit

can you fix it in an instant with the instrumental kickin?

your lines are a mess like a book without a spine

searching through your mind for the rhyme you cant find

Blind in the light you can't see the boos

No attention from the ladies bad looks from the dudes

Who'd a thought that you'd be in this position

while I'm breaking up weed on my composition

notebook as your so shook your cooked

cut and eatin you failed on the beat

You've been beaten. 

Franky Deez

Wear What You Wore

I had a speech teacher in college who told the class a story about how she attended a party wearing a very short skirt. This skirt was much shorter than what she normally wore. When she got to the party she felt awkward and self conscious about it. She kept tugging at the skirt the whole night and let it ruin her attitude. She said that afterward she decided to never feel that way again. She came up with a rule called "Wear What You Wore" meaning whatever your wear to an event must be embraced and not hidden. This was a great lesson to learn. I have found that when I wear things with authority (backpacks in bars, black eyes, work uniforms, etc.) it usually elicits more conversations and attention from strangers. its like they want to know why you are doing this one random thing that no one else is doing. "Why do you have that backpack?' Everyone always wants to know. "Whats the story with that outfit?" It works like a charm. Who would have thought that such a simple concept could break so much ice. In fact sometimes I go out intentionally wearing ridiculous stuff just to see what happens. Not everything you learn in school is on the syllabus.Thanks for the lesson Teach. 

Dale Fanella

Derek Rose Poem

D Rose

I am a huge fan of Derek Rose. I really admire his humble attitude and lightning fast moves on the court. This one is for you D Rose. 

There once was a rose who came from the street

He Grew up in the city among the concrete 

In wind he stood tall, would never retreat 

He ran with the Bulls and Never sweated the Heat

Through harsh winter cold with nothing to eat

When practice was over blood ran from his feet

He United the Center filling up every seat

The game winning shot without missing a beat

There once was a rose who grew from concrete. 

Dale Fanella

High on Music?

Don't Get Addicted

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I seem to always have a song stuck in my head. They come and they go in two week increments. It has been this way as far back as I can remember. At first it was La Bamba and Don't Worry Be Happy. As a kid I would run around my Grandmother's living room dancing (as if on drugs.) Nowadays the songs just keep on coming and I have even started to make some of my own or mash ups of real and fake songs combined together for even more hilarity. The whole process is almost always the same. 

1. You hear a song and the groundwork is laid for future exposure to the melodies, rhythms, beat and vocals. 

2. You hear the song again but this time something clicks and all of the sudden you just cant stop humming along with the music even after the song is over. The rest of the day you hum and perhaps even sing what you know of the song to yourself. 

3.You find the song on you-tube or obtain your own personal copy of it and chronically watch or listen obsessively for days and nights on end. Reciting it everywhere you go, getting a natural high from it's presence in your life. People will get annoyed with you and wonder what the hell is wrong with you. "get a life that song is so old and lame" Don't let them get to you . 

4. You continue to sing the song but the passion has faded. (just like new jobs, Ha) You kind of just keep the memory of the song around while you unconsciously search  for a new musical fix. 

5. You hear a new song or an old favorite and the whole process repeats itself. 

Here is a list of some songs that I have been addicted to.

Higher Love by Steve Winwood

Just Give Me The Night by George Benson

Pump Pump by Snoop Doggy Dogg

Last Christmas by Wham!

Still The Same by Bob Seger

Just What I Needed by The Cars

Stand Up And Shout by Steel Dragon

I Just Wanna Love You by Akon Feat Snoop Dogg

I Know You See by Young Joc

Saved By Zero by The Fixx

No Time by The Guess Who

All My Loving by The Beatles

I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry

Stronger by Kanye West

Urgent by Foreigner 

Reach Out I'll Be There by The Four Tops

Ain't Too Proud To Beg by The Temptations

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

3 A.M. by Eminem

The Lottery by The Kottonmouth Kings

La Isle Bonita by Madonna

People Are Strange by The Doors

Intergalactic by The Beastie Boys

Talking In Your Sleep by The Romantics

Bang A Gong by Power Station

My Girl by The Temptations

Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner

Scenario by A Tribe Called Quest feat The LONS

Don't You Want Me by Human League

Abracadabra by The Steve Miller Band

Come on Ride the Train by The Quad City DJ's

The Entire Space Jam Soundtrack by Various Artists

I'm Still Standing by Elton John

Chin Check by NWA

Hello by NWA

As The World Turns by Eminem

Holding Back the Years by Simply Red

Ive got the Power by Snap

Finer Things by Steve Winwood

I Go Blind by Hootie and The Blowfish

Dale Fanella