That's Right Get It

Well it's too early to call yet but it would appear I have fallen behind in the Blogvember department. It's okay though I still have time to turn this boat around. On the way to the harbor I wanted to tell you about how for the last five days in a row I have gotten out of bed before six in the morning. You would not believe all the stuff you can get done in the morning. From bills to chores to laundry and floors, in the morning you can truly do it all. In a way its like adding an extra four hour block to your day that you otherwise would not have had. I am waking up early with an axe to grind. Kicking ass in the morning and kicking more ass in the evening. Not sure how long this little sleep schedule will last but in the meantime is suits me just fine. Also I wanted to bring up the notion that old people don't necessarily enjoy getting up early. I have come to believe that it is actually the fact that they physically cannot stay up late anymore that they just pass out and then by default just so happen to wake up early. I feel great but in some ways I feel like an old man. You guy's keep me young man. 

I offer these tips to getting up early. 

1. Go to bed early (millions of old people can't be wrong)

2. Get out of the house (you must transcend simply getting out of bed)

3. Workout outside in the freezing cold alone and with a vendetta (BallHard)

4. Drink a 20 oz columbian coffee a glass of chocolate milk a five hour energy and two bananas (The Dale Fanella Breakfast at 711) about $8.50 (That's Right Get It)

5. Take a hot shower and then turn it cold and then Get The Fuck Out! (Swedish)

Shnudweiser's and Bread

Seriously? How much fucking beef do we fucking need? I was at work the other day hauling beef with my friend Steve (who can lift a whole cow above his head) and we run out of room for beef storage. Steve looks over and says "HOW MUCH FUCKING BEEF DO WE NEED?" We both just start cracking up for like an hour. Then after that we had to wait forever for this bread delivery so we kept yelling "Hey! You Guys Need Any Fucking Bread?" We look like grownups but in reality we are just adult children. I am a 27 year old 8th grader. Anyway so at work we have this other thing where we at the syllable "shn" in place of the first syllable in a word. So "Coors" becomes "Shnoors" "Peter Francis Geraci" becomes "Shneter Shnancis Shnershnaci" I guess for longer words you add extra "shn" sounds for emphasis. My favorite thing to order at the bar lately is an ice cold "Shnudweiser" it's just so fun to say it with me now "Shnudweiser." I am deadly serious about actually buying a home brew kit and really making a beer called "Shnudweiser" Wouldn't that be hilarious? eh Whatever or something. So about half the time the bartender just smiles and brings back an ice cold Shnud but the other half of the time they just look at you all crazy and say "I'm sorry, did you say Sh Sh Shnudweiser?" I'm like "yes sir that's right "Shudweiser." Then there is this long pause before I have to actually drop the whole fun "Shn" sound game and spell it out for the guy "Just get me a fucking Budweiser!" Work is really fun. 

Bulls are Back (In my life)

I have been watching the Bulls again. I know everyone will say I am a fair weather fan but this is not the case. I didn't have cable this year and have only seen games that are publicly displayed in local pubs and eatery's. I am very impressed by how much ass they seem to kick even without D Rose. I saw Kirk Heinrich crossing up Steve Nash the other night and had to feel bad about how I was pissed when I found out we had re acquired his talents. I thought his career was over. Sorry Kirk, I was wrong. So it looks like Kirk and Rose in the back court for the latter part of this season. Something tells me Nate Robinson will be coming off the bench. I would really like to go see the Bulls in person one of these days but it looks like I will have to wait until after I work the Chicago Auto Show for the second time. Then I will have the scratch to purchase some tickets (which will surely be overpriced.) So after the auto show keep a lookout for me on the jumbo tron or mega tron or giant light fixture screen thing at The UC. I have falling into a basketball depression following the bulls many playoff losses in recent years. Something tells me that this years squad is tired of losing and definitely has something to prove to the league. Go Bulls. Sorry I doubted you but I was mostly pissed about losing Omer Asik "The Turkish Hammer" and Scalabrini during the off season. Why? Why? Why? Oh brother. I have to go now. Its time for my nightly Jog through a high traffic area. Wish me luck. 

Poem about Kicking Ass

In the future or in the past the time we have just doesnt last
before your told before your asked life will kick you in the ass
it'll happen fast this kick to the ass so fast that you'll have time to pass
and time to frolic laugh and play to live again another day
but if you stay theres a chance you risk it
an ass gets kicked most every instant 
elder or infant it aint no different
the talentless and truly gifted
relentless bad ass kicking schindig 

BoomShakaLaka!

The Eternal Question

the pain and the greed the need for green weed
so hungry and dazed if i ever get blazed
but to settle a score for once and for all
would you rather have weed or adderall
now weed indeed is off the wall
but what about the adderall 
it makes me want to clean and grind
so anxious i could lose my mind
but one for all the rest of time
to pop a pill or smoke a dime?
to rip a bong or snort a line?
but wait a minute kindly folks
Now Ive been known to tell some jokes
of prescription pills and taking tokes
now what if it was all a hoax
that there is only one
when there is two theres twice to do
both weed and adderrall for you 
so you can balance out the hits 
with crushing up and taking sniffs
each one is yours these treasured gifts
now have a beer and take some sips

America

The Joking Type

When I was a young boy, I used to eat chicken nuggets

But Now I put away them young boy ways

Now I'm living like a grown boy

Now I"m eating on the Buffalo Chicken Wings

Wings so good

come on baby eating wings so good

sometimes grub don't feel like it should

wings so good.

This is just a joke..

This whole post.

I feel that we are all entitled to have a little fun every once in awhile right

otherwise what is the point? Not having fun is for losers.

oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

Jackie Bleu Cheese lives her life in a low fat style

at the top of the Buffalo Chicken Pile

oh oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

The cheese is smelly and so are you

I mean its really all about the money but it is important to have fun at least once every few years to keep the moral up. Good Moral is a very undervalued natural resource. We could all use a little boost in moral

No Exceptions No Excuses Part 0

Lets get in the Gym!

For most of the year so far I have been slacking on my workouts. I never seem to be able to stick to any consistent regiment. Usually I get started and one of two things happens. 1. I get really drunk one night and the hangover is so brutal that I simply cannot workout the following day or I workout way to hard and the muscle soreness is so great that it makes me want to take a few days off. One of my roommates (David "Flashlight" West) has been putting in a lot of work at the gym and eating right. I see him making progress and it makes me want to improve my own physique. My seasonal job as The Most Interesting Barback In The World at The Wrigley Rooftops has started again and that means a lot of keg hauling.....even more incentive to get in better shape (those things are heavy) I am writing all this out to illustrate my current mindset and to announce that I will be publishing a post later this Summer as a follow up on my new workout plan which I am calling the "No Exceptions, No Excuses" workout plan. I'm mostly posting this so that all of you can read it and see if I stick to my word. Be on the lookout for all of the epic workout plans I have on the way. Lets get in shape this summer so we can get attention from hot babes. 

Dale Fanella

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

I was at the Bulls Game when Derek Rose tore his ACL. I saw it happen (from the upper deck) I cannot express how heartbroken I am for him. I think people that take pro sports to seriously are losers but I feel that something like this transcends sports drama. This guy is so humble and like able. How could this happen? I remember that in the stands we all thought that he wasn't hurt all that bad and we all started chanting "MVP, MVP, MVP" Hoping for him to get up and let us know he was okay. He never did. Later in the day I was talking with a friend who was watching on tv and said that rose appeared to know immediately that he was severely injured. Then I thought about how when everyone was chanting "MVP" Derek already knew he was done. How bad he must have felt. I feel like it was the equivalent of seeing Mufasa get killed or watching the one ewok try to wake up the other one who died during the battle at the end of "Return of the Jedi" Then today I saw that jackass at Nike was making fun of Roses injury. Have you no decency. The nicest guy in the league, never done anything wrong to anyone and your gonna take a cheap shot at him because he didn't endorse your company's shoes? What an ass. I'd like to bust his knee and then see how funny he thinks it is. Derek Rose kind of reminds me of Chicago and all its hard working citizens. I know he will be back but I just bummed that this happened to him.  I still feel that the Bulls still have a shot at the title but its going to be a tough battle to win without the MVP. Hang in there Derek we are all pulling for you.

Dale Fanella

Derek Rose Poem

D Rose

I am a huge fan of Derek Rose. I really admire his humble attitude and lightning fast moves on the court. This one is for you D Rose. 

There once was a rose who came from the street

He Grew up in the city among the concrete 

In wind he stood tall, would never retreat 

He ran with the Bulls and Never sweated the Heat

Through harsh winter cold with nothing to eat

When practice was over blood ran from his feet

He United the Center filling up every seat

The game winning shot without missing a beat

There once was a rose who grew from concrete. 

Dale Fanella

Some People Have Balls

It was nice outside today for November. I went to Wrightwood Park to shoot some hoops. I would give Wrightwood Park a 7 out of 10 on my Chicago Park District rating system. It has a gravel track, outdoor basketball courts, a playground , a small field house, and an outdoor pool.