That's The Way Uh Huh Uh Huh I Like It

That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it. I have had that song in my head all day. Kind of taking a much needed day off to catch up on the finer things in life. went to the basketball court today and kicked every ones ass. My game has never been better. It only took about 8 years to learn the fucking sport. I'm literally listening to That's the way Uh Huh Uh Huh I like it on repeat over and over again for an indefinite period of undetermined time. but that's the way i like it. Who knows what the rest of tonight holds for our heroes but we will see what adventure awaits. 

My friend who is going through a break up called me and said that his girlfriend had sent him a text saying that she hated him and was over him and blah blah blah fucking blah blah blah blahbibitty blah blah blah blah. Anyway I told him to send her "That's The Way Uh Huh Uh Huh I Like It." It worked like a charm. do do do do do do do do do. 

Shnudweiser's and Bread

Seriously? How much fucking beef do we fucking need? I was at work the other day hauling beef with my friend Steve (who can lift a whole cow above his head) and we run out of room for beef storage. Steve looks over and says "HOW MUCH FUCKING BEEF DO WE NEED?" We both just start cracking up for like an hour. Then after that we had to wait forever for this bread delivery so we kept yelling "Hey! You Guys Need Any Fucking Bread?" We look like grownups but in reality we are just adult children. I am a 27 year old 8th grader. Anyway so at work we have this other thing where we at the syllable "shn" in place of the first syllable in a word. So "Coors" becomes "Shnoors" "Peter Francis Geraci" becomes "Shneter Shnancis Shnershnaci" I guess for longer words you add extra "shn" sounds for emphasis. My favorite thing to order at the bar lately is an ice cold "Shnudweiser" it's just so fun to say it with me now "Shnudweiser." I am deadly serious about actually buying a home brew kit and really making a beer called "Shnudweiser" Wouldn't that be hilarious? eh Whatever or something. So about half the time the bartender just smiles and brings back an ice cold Shnud but the other half of the time they just look at you all crazy and say "I'm sorry, did you say Sh Sh Shnudweiser?" I'm like "yes sir that's right "Shudweiser." Then there is this long pause before I have to actually drop the whole fun "Shn" sound game and spell it out for the guy "Just get me a fucking Budweiser!" Work is really fun. 

Spring is in the Air

It feels so good to be back outside running around and having fun with my friends. It's finally spring again. I think that spring is highly under appreciated as a season. Summer gets to much credit. Although Chicago Summers are really great. What am I trying to say? Not sure really. Its so damn nice out I can hardly even stand sitting here at this god forsaken desk writing to you about this bull shit. I'm not angry or anything I just want to emphasize how unbelievably fucking nice it is outside right now! Right Here Right Now. Having fun again and making it look cool too. Oh yeah, Nobodies gonna bring me down. Sailing on Sailing on. Just Sailing on. Anyway Yesterday was pretty cool I got a ride out to the southwest suburbs where I recorded some voice overs for this animated feature about elves. I based the voice on this guy I know named Bradley who works at this bar called "The Store" It's a really great five a.m. shit hole. Well I caught a train back to the city and watched the Bulls in Triple OT through the window of the sport clips on Fullerton with about five other random guys. What a game, Nate Robinson had the game of his life. I went to the courts near my apartment and played prison ball for about two hours until a fight broke out because some guy blew a kiss at another guy. The game was ruined. I went home and drank brews for awhile catching up on mad men which is starting to suck or maybe it always sucked and I just didn't realize until now. Some really drunk dudes came over and we drank more brews and we recorded this video

After that we went out to that really great 5 a.m. shit hole I was talking about earlier "The Store" When we got there my brother ran into that fucking kid Eduardo so we had to tell him that he can go fucking suck his own fucking balls. 

Its a mad mad mad mad mad world

Its a maddening maddening mad hatters mad hattering mad haters are chattering

the batter is battering all the stats are still staggering the badger was badgering unabashadley brandishing a badge from a bad German Sheppard black fur like a leopard without stripes and no checkers i was a wreck at the records i felt wretched in bed but it was all for the better

forever together in splendor where ever no wonder no never grow stronger go getter 

so weather the storm whether rich or in squalor from the top of the bucket to the bottomm of dollars to the loudest of whispers and softest of hollers. for the insomniac staying up four hundred hours

to the clean freak scrubbing dead skin in the showers 

the flesh eating disease it rips and devours 

but what about love and smelling the flowers. 

Deputy Hound Dog Mcgee skit

(A Kitchen)

Billy

Winter sucks, what’s the point of having a snow day if you cant go outside?

PETER

Yea but Billy, why don’t we just drink those cool looking soda cans in your Dads fridge?

BILLY

That’s not soda, that’s my Dads beer. I’ve never had beer before have you?

PETER

Yea uh I have I’ve drank beer plenty of times

BILLY

 (Opening the fridge)

 Let’s drink it before it drinks itself.

PETER

Beer! Billy! Lets drink some Beer!

BILLY

Dad doesn’t call them “Beers” he calls them “Brews”

PETER

(opens a can)

Cheers Billy my good man

(both drink)

BILLY and PETER

Awww gross. What the….ewww, this is disgusting how are we gonna finish these Brews, if they taste like warm piss?

BILLY

What the heck, I thought it was supposed to taste all good and sweet like Dad says?

PETER

(Pacing)

Yea uh I remember it tasting much better the last couple times, must be a bad batch. You think your Dad will notice the missing cans?

BILLY

(Scared)

Dad’s gonna kill me if he finds out we were drinking

PETER

Yeah, Especially if he finds out that we opened his brews and then didn’t like the way they tasted.  Can’t we just dump them down the sink?

BILLY

 ( Grabbing PETER)

No! No! No! We cannot waste Dad’s brews.  You know how he gets when I take stuff 

PETER

Like that white stuff we found in his desk?

BILLY

 (nodding)

That’s correct PETER.  But luckily I have a good idea to get us out of this mess

PETER

Your gonna drink them both yourself?

BILLY

 (Reaching for the phone)

No.  I’m gonna call someone who can. Deputy Hound Dog McGee

PETER

(shocked)

But Billy, you can’t call Deputy Hound Dog McGee? He’s crazy!

PETER

 (w/ phone to his ear)

Hello, Hi, Deputy Hound Dog McGee? You like beer right?  Good. Because I have some that I cant finish.  Are you busy right now?

(Peter Hangs up)

PETER

Yes! He said he’s on his way. 

BILLY

But isn’t Dad supposed to be home soon?

PETER

Oh No.  Your right.  Oh my god.  Hopefully Deputy Hound Dog McGee can bust his fat ass on the way over here.

(DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE enters room visibly winded)

DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE

(Panting)

…….Beer……….still……Here…..?

PETER

(setting the beer down in front of DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE)

Yes sir here it is all two cans’ of the finest, freshest brew. 

(DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE sizes up the cans with his eyes)

(PETER and BILLY exchange nervous glances)

DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE

I’ll do it but if I do then you have to give me another beer for my trouble

PETER

 (Shocked)

Uhh uh um okay fine just drink the damn things. 

(DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE begins chugging both cans)

PETER and PETER

Go, Go, Go, Go Go!

DEPUTY HOUND DOG MCGEE

(Belches)

Aww that was nothing you sissy’s.  Now go fetch me another beer

( puts his feet up on the table)

PETER

(Angry)

Just because you drank our Dad’s brew doesn’t mean you get to act like our Dad

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

(slightly Slurring)

Ssshutup, and get me another boy or I’ll wupp you good.  I’m gonna get drunk this afternoon.

(BILLY looks at PETER)

PETER

(Arms crossed)

Deputy Hound Dog McGee? Whats it like?

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

Wwwwhats? What? Like?

Peter

Ya know? Being Drunk

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

How the hell should I know I cant get drunk with only two beers.  I need more. 

PETER

Do you think you will be after three?

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

I’m gettin there, now will you just keep the Brews coming?

Peter

(Opening the fridge)

Sure, Sure, we can give you some more Brews but you have to make sure that you can drink them. 

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

(Reaches for a Beer)

Yeah, I never met a beer I couldn’t drink

PETER

Well at least we wont get in trouble when…………….

(Dad Enters, Looking Angry)

Dad

(Sits Down looks at Deputy Hound Dog McGee)

Now I don’t wanna have to hurt ya son so be honest………Were you planning on drinking my brew?

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

(Petrified)

N N N NO sir I don ‘t drink beer I was just sitting here and Peter was Drinking them. 

PETER

(Hands up)

No way.  Dad I didn’t do it.  He’s Lying Smell his breath

PETER

Deputy Hound Dog McGee drank two beers and said he was going to get drunk. 

(All look at Deputy Hound Dog McGee)

(Deputy Hound Dog McGee Belches)

(All look at Dad)

Dad

Ahahaha You dumb son of a bitch that ain't real brew that’s non alcoholic.  This boy wasn’t going to get Drunk. 

Peter

But he was slurring Dad?

(All look at Deputy Hound Dog McGee)

Dad

That’s because your friend is damn stupid boy. 

Deputy Hound Dog McGee

(Grabs Beer from PETER)

I wasn’t gonna drink it I don’t even want it, look I’ll dump it down the sink.

(Reaches for sink)

 PETER

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Dad Lunges)

The Joking Type

When I was a young boy, I used to eat chicken nuggets

But Now I put away them young boy ways

Now I'm living like a grown boy

Now I"m eating on the Buffalo Chicken Wings

Wings so good

come on baby eating wings so good

sometimes grub don't feel like it should

wings so good.

This is just a joke..

This whole post.

I feel that we are all entitled to have a little fun every once in awhile right

otherwise what is the point? Not having fun is for losers.

oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

Jackie Bleu Cheese lives her life in a low fat style

at the top of the Buffalo Chicken Pile

oh oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

The cheese is smelly and so are you

I mean its really all about the money but it is important to have fun at least once every few years to keep the moral up. Good Moral is a very undervalued natural resource. We could all use a little boost in moral

Beach Club Veggie Wrap

Order a Pickle

It was a clear black night a cool jeweled moon 

All the freaks hit the streets trying to consume

They need to feed before they pass out

I know just the place to go if they wanna max out

When the fridge is empty and the food is gone 

Everybody's on the street to get some Jimmy Johns 

If your really hungry and you need to eat 

You know whats up with Jimmy Johns subs so fast you'll Freak