Fun in the Sun Poem

Because I like to run 
I like having fun
To the occasion I rise like the sun
I'm still number one
I still get it done
I got pizza sauce all on my thumb
I still threw a plumb 
I knew it was dumb
I poured some bleach on a hot dog bun
I went through a ton 
Then I chewed some gum
Torpase and now my bodies numb
breaks to the left breaks to the right
break it down with Frank Deez Tonight!

Oh Yeah

Shnudweiser's and Bread

Seriously? How much fucking beef do we fucking need? I was at work the other day hauling beef with my friend Steve (who can lift a whole cow above his head) and we run out of room for beef storage. Steve looks over and says "HOW MUCH FUCKING BEEF DO WE NEED?" We both just start cracking up for like an hour. Then after that we had to wait forever for this bread delivery so we kept yelling "Hey! You Guys Need Any Fucking Bread?" We look like grownups but in reality we are just adult children. I am a 27 year old 8th grader. Anyway so at work we have this other thing where we at the syllable "shn" in place of the first syllable in a word. So "Coors" becomes "Shnoors" "Peter Francis Geraci" becomes "Shneter Shnancis Shnershnaci" I guess for longer words you add extra "shn" sounds for emphasis. My favorite thing to order at the bar lately is an ice cold "Shnudweiser" it's just so fun to say it with me now "Shnudweiser." I am deadly serious about actually buying a home brew kit and really making a beer called "Shnudweiser" Wouldn't that be hilarious? eh Whatever or something. So about half the time the bartender just smiles and brings back an ice cold Shnud but the other half of the time they just look at you all crazy and say "I'm sorry, did you say Sh Sh Shnudweiser?" I'm like "yes sir that's right "Shudweiser." Then there is this long pause before I have to actually drop the whole fun "Shn" sound game and spell it out for the guy "Just get me a fucking Budweiser!" Work is really fun. 

Spring is in the Air

It feels so good to be back outside running around and having fun with my friends. It's finally spring again. I think that spring is highly under appreciated as a season. Summer gets to much credit. Although Chicago Summers are really great. What am I trying to say? Not sure really. Its so damn nice out I can hardly even stand sitting here at this god forsaken desk writing to you about this bull shit. I'm not angry or anything I just want to emphasize how unbelievably fucking nice it is outside right now! Right Here Right Now. Having fun again and making it look cool too. Oh yeah, Nobodies gonna bring me down. Sailing on Sailing on. Just Sailing on. Anyway Yesterday was pretty cool I got a ride out to the southwest suburbs where I recorded some voice overs for this animated feature about elves. I based the voice on this guy I know named Bradley who works at this bar called "The Store" It's a really great five a.m. shit hole. Well I caught a train back to the city and watched the Bulls in Triple OT through the window of the sport clips on Fullerton with about five other random guys. What a game, Nate Robinson had the game of his life. I went to the courts near my apartment and played prison ball for about two hours until a fight broke out because some guy blew a kiss at another guy. The game was ruined. I went home and drank brews for awhile catching up on mad men which is starting to suck or maybe it always sucked and I just didn't realize until now. Some really drunk dudes came over and we drank more brews and we recorded this video

After that we went out to that really great 5 a.m. shit hole I was talking about earlier "The Store" When we got there my brother ran into that fucking kid Eduardo so we had to tell him that he can go fucking suck his own fucking balls. 

Kick in the door waving the forty

Today is December 2nd 2012. It was alarmingly nice outside today so my Brother Dane and I set sail for adventure. We dissected the lyrics and song structure of the late great notorious big aka Frank White. I don't know if I have mentioned this in a previous post but I just want to say that I am big fan of Biggy. I am a Biggy guy, I never got to deep into Tupac. If you go to Wendy's they have Biggy size not Tupac size. Ahh whatever. So Dane and I went to the basketball court in our never ending quest to never call fouls no matter the stakes or blatantness. Prison Rules. I always like when Biggy said " many nights I perform like mike, anyone Tyson Jordan Jackson action packed guns ridiculous"

I tried to go to shitbucks to use the Internet but it was no use, the entire place was filled with douche bags. I took a long walk and decided that it is official I like walking. When I was young I use to dream of one day growing old. It looks like all the hard work is paying off so far this year. I am really excited about some upcoming stuff that I'm gonna be posting later this month or next week. So whose up for a little late night luncheon. I went to crunch on some chips but Von Los stole them from my snack drawer. I am excited to report that I have received word from Von Los. 

The Innards of thinking

Don't Ask

In the past year I have come a long way in some ways but in other areas (financial) I have very much remained the same. It is uncertain where the next step is. With no money and no paycheck in sight I sit and write and make certain that everything I do is for my self betterment. I can be the best if I try, I can do anything I want to. This is a testament to all those who don’t think that I have it in me. This is to all the stars out there who have accomplished so much already that there is no possible way I could dream of catching up. This is a message for anyone who desires to become something better than what they are. I will not rest until I have conquered all the fear and doubt the world has to offer.

Chicken soup and daiquiris for everyone captain, I expect its going to be a bumpy flight so please buckle yourselves in and don’t mention any of this to your parents when you arrive home later this evening to a darkened house with nobody home. Where did they go? You wonder making the climb up the stairs as an owl hoots alarmingly in the distance. Where are you from? What Government? What are you doing here?

 This is way way way outside your jurisdiction officer Rembrandt.

I have a fascination with old war time stories and novelty items. I don’t really understand the obsession but I suspect it has its roots in my childhood fondness of guns and artillery weapons. Strange I know but with whom the bell tolls may be he whom the ring is heard by. 

In the late hours of every night I go inside my closed bathroom and dance around in the dark. I do this because it is my intent to scare and or disturb one of my unsuspecting housemates upon entry to said bathroom. I can already tell that something magic is truly in the air because I am a writing machine right now. I feel like I’m back in school again. This is great the words just flowing out onto the page with a certain routine ability that impresses me whenever it reveals itself. I love the page and words equally but the real question is do I love the words written or spoken.?You must admit it is a tough question but if you look beyond the surface of the question you will see that I need to smoke some more weed. 

Brother Man

You can't stay on the farm forever. Eventually it's time to wake up and take your act to the city for a real evaluation. My brother tells me the best way to start fresh is to take a shower. 
 When we arrived at the hotel on orchard street. We ordered enough room service for ten people (we have been watching way to much man vs food lately) and ate enough for about 2 people.
 We walked over to the lake and told ourselves that today was gonna be different. Today we were gonna find out the real us, the inner us, the redeemed, the finally ready to be taught inner sage in all of us. We sat there listening to the lake and reading important books for nearly seven hours. 
Afterward we both felt more important prompting us to make reservations at a fancy restaurant. After the very sultry and polite host seated us we ate a salad before leaving early.
 My Brother told me that he felt bad for the host because every time she seated someone they would eventually leave. I told him that eventually everybody has to leave so that there are seats available. 
He nodded his head and we walked  for many miles of urban landscape before stopping at a local coffee bar to see if they had any coffee that was imported from other places. They did not like us very much. 
My Brother who always tells people what he thinks about them threatened to burn down the local coffee place. 
As we fled the scene this homeless guy stumbled out of an alley way and told us that "The same shit that happened to John Q happened to me." I'm not sure why but my Brother stabbed the homeless guy and we fled to Panama City Florida. How are things going for you back home?

The Joking Type

When I was a young boy, I used to eat chicken nuggets

But Now I put away them young boy ways

Now I'm living like a grown boy

Now I"m eating on the Buffalo Chicken Wings

Wings so good

come on baby eating wings so good

sometimes grub don't feel like it should

wings so good.

This is just a joke..

This whole post.

I feel that we are all entitled to have a little fun every once in awhile right

otherwise what is the point? Not having fun is for losers.

oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

Jackie Bleu Cheese lives her life in a low fat style

at the top of the Buffalo Chicken Pile

oh oh oh oh oh Jackie Bleu

The cheese is smelly and so are you

I mean its really all about the money but it is important to have fun at least once every few years to keep the moral up. Good Moral is a very undervalued natural resource. We could all use a little boost in moral

Homeless Traffic Director

 One day while walking down Armitage street near the Chicago Bagel Authority I saw a nice BMW SUV get into an accident with a standard yellow cab. The swanky SUV guy got out and looked at the damage to his car and started freaking out. The taxi driver just sat calmly in his cab as if not to notice the swanky guy screaming at his driver side window. It was funny that this guy was being so dramatic. In the meantime traffic has been building up the whole time both in front of and behind the SUV BMW and cab. This homeless guy who would always hang out among all the local eatery's, was sitting on a stoop at street level eating a sandwich and sunning himself when he noticed the many honks from the ever increasing traffic. I watched him stand up dust himself off and walk over to the street. I gasped as he raised one arm with an open palm as if to say "stop" and then waived his other hand as if to say "go." Signaling the cars on the opposite side to go through the only open lane. I kept laughing thinking that it was so funny that this guy felt like it was his job to direct traffic despite having no obligation to do so. Further more the people he was directing were actually complying and following his directions even though he had no real authority.  I must have laughed for a good ten or twenty minutes. It was actually kind of awesome. I wonder what happened when the cops came? What did they say to the SUV guy and the CAB guy and the NICE homeless man. The Homeless Traffic Director.