Mr. Freezy "I'm Back!"

In a shadow of doubt wrapped in a cloak
Not a laugh or a nod or even a joke
From desperate ways to desperate times
The six of hearts the spade of nines
The longest night the brightest day
There must be some other way
Summer days so cool and breezy 
Fresh like Febreeze its young frank Deezy
I make it hard while Y'all take it easy 
Y'all getting clean while I'm getting greasy 
Y'all getting grilled I'm getting Cheezy
Y'all ice queens and I'm Mr. Freezy
Awake in the rain what's the name of the game?
Insane from the pain I just say it in vain
my brain is out of frame like a track with out a train
Everything is all the same I'll say it over again

Bulls are Back (In my life)

I have been watching the Bulls again. I know everyone will say I am a fair weather fan but this is not the case. I didn't have cable this year and have only seen games that are publicly displayed in local pubs and eatery's. I am very impressed by how much ass they seem to kick even without D Rose. I saw Kirk Heinrich crossing up Steve Nash the other night and had to feel bad about how I was pissed when I found out we had re acquired his talents. I thought his career was over. Sorry Kirk, I was wrong. So it looks like Kirk and Rose in the back court for the latter part of this season. Something tells me Nate Robinson will be coming off the bench. I would really like to go see the Bulls in person one of these days but it looks like I will have to wait until after I work the Chicago Auto Show for the second time. Then I will have the scratch to purchase some tickets (which will surely be overpriced.) So after the auto show keep a lookout for me on the jumbo tron or mega tron or giant light fixture screen thing at The UC. I have falling into a basketball depression following the bulls many playoff losses in recent years. Something tells me that this years squad is tired of losing and definitely has something to prove to the league. Go Bulls. Sorry I doubted you but I was mostly pissed about losing Omer Asik "The Turkish Hammer" and Scalabrini during the off season. Why? Why? Why? Oh brother. I have to go now. Its time for my nightly Jog through a high traffic area. Wish me luck. 

Writing Wrongs

Sometimes I get pissed off and decide that all my blogs are pieces of shit that don't even deserve to be read. I must admit that as a writer it is a very depressing mental state to be in. You can't really shake the negative vibes and every thought you put down on the page ends up sounding forced and whiny. Oh how I relish the days when the voices in my head (The creative one and the critical one) are in perfect agreement and it is easy to execute my craft. On days like these hours seem to fly by while my fingers dance across the keys. 
 A good and well spent writing session is one of the most pleasurable things i can think of doing with an afternoon, although there are other considerations. It is hard to decide what I prefer, typing or long hand writing. Both get the job done but something about the long hand method just feels right. Typing certainly helps you to keep up with the high speeds your mental voice can achieve. Sometimes it's hard to keep up when writing by hand. I wish that everyone had a chance to experience the joy of commanding language to communicate ideas in a creative and artistic manner. It truly is one of my favorite hobbies. 

Kick in the door waving the forty

Today is December 2nd 2012. It was alarmingly nice outside today so my Brother Dane and I set sail for adventure. We dissected the lyrics and song structure of the late great notorious big aka Frank White. I don't know if I have mentioned this in a previous post but I just want to say that I am big fan of Biggy. I am a Biggy guy, I never got to deep into Tupac. If you go to Wendy's they have Biggy size not Tupac size. Ahh whatever. So Dane and I went to the basketball court in our never ending quest to never call fouls no matter the stakes or blatantness. Prison Rules. I always like when Biggy said " many nights I perform like mike, anyone Tyson Jordan Jackson action packed guns ridiculous"

I tried to go to shitbucks to use the Internet but it was no use, the entire place was filled with douche bags. I took a long walk and decided that it is official I like walking. When I was young I use to dream of one day growing old. It looks like all the hard work is paying off so far this year. I am really excited about some upcoming stuff that I'm gonna be posting later this month or next week. So whose up for a little late night luncheon. I went to crunch on some chips but Von Los stole them from my snack drawer. I am excited to report that I have received word from Von Los. 

Super Lyrical

Lyrically I’m like an athletic freak when I write

 So I’m tight at open mics that I frequent at night

 When I speak on the mic  in a beacon of light

 I’m kinda weird and i'm white but still keeping it hype

I need a miller lite! When I step off stages

 Take a seat at the bar with some hot babes and write pages

 I’m writin bars at bars with with local rap stars

 I’m writin bars at barbeques with dudes in my back yard

 Cuz art work pays off take no days off

 Work hard play soft smoke weed, play golf

 I often stop at coffee shops to sit and jot

  I get lost in thought with the ink I blot

  I sit and think a lot high off decent pot

 I never creep or stop whether I sleep or not

  I think this coffee drink I got is freaking hot

  Lyrically on a streak that can never be stopped

The Eternal Question

the pain and the greed the need for green weed
so hungry and dazed if i ever get blazed
but to settle a score for once and for all
would you rather have weed or adderall
now weed indeed is off the wall
but what about the adderall 
it makes me want to clean and grind
so anxious i could lose my mind
but one for all the rest of time
to pop a pill or smoke a dime?
to rip a bong or snort a line?
but wait a minute kindly folks
Now Ive been known to tell some jokes
of prescription pills and taking tokes
now what if it was all a hoax
that there is only one
when there is two theres twice to do
both weed and adderrall for you 
so you can balance out the hits 
with crushing up and taking sniffs
each one is yours these treasured gifts
now have a beer and take some sips

America

Mr. Drugs

Good Morning Class. Now that the Teacher's Strike has been settled I will be your teacher for the rest of the school year. My name..... is Mr. Drugs. It is pronounced "Droogs" not "Drugs" and as I see some of you snickering I already know that this is going to be and interesting year for this class. I wonder. By a show of hands, how many of you have prescriptions for Adderall. Okay. For all those of you who have prescriptions for Adderall, you may go to recess. All the rest of you will be going down to the nurses office where you are going to tell her that you are having concentration problems. 

Good Morning Class. You all look awake. Now that you all have your required prescriptions for Adderall it is time for you first assignment. I want you all to go home tonight and in the dark of night go into your bottle of Adderall and bring me five of them. Five Adderall from each of you placed in rows on my desk tomorrow morning or you will drop a whole grade level. 

Good Morning Class. Thank you for completing your assignment and to celebrate I am happy to announce that it is now time for your first spelling lesson The Word of the day is XANAX for your second assignment I want you all to go home tonight being extra careful that no one sees you go behind your mothers bathroom mirror and look for a bottle with today's spelling word XANAX written on it and bring the pills to my desk in the morning. Because you have all been so good about completing your adderall assignment I have decided that for the rest of the day we will be watching "Limitless" starring Bradley Cooper as a drug fueled entrepreneur. You don't have to take notes but try to notice the symbolism of how his drug is basically adderall. 

Good Morning Class. I am very pleased to see that you have all completed you second assignment congratulations. At this time I would like all of you to take out your iPhone I want you to text me photo each of your mothers in a bikini. Except for you Smitty, you don't have to complete this assignment in fact you can have extra credit for not doing it. But for the rest of you it is mandatory. The pictures are part of my notes for the upcoming parent teacher conferences. For those of you with large breasted mothers there will be a bonus. That is all for now.....

Class I have been nice to you so far but now I am starting to get angry. Last night I was in the middle of  a long work session that involved studying your mothers photos in my bedroom when Smitty whom I had specifically told not to send me any photo whatsoever decided to send me a photo of his mother who shall we say is quite...unsightly. My night was ruined and now as result you are going to have two assignments today. Tell Suri or write this down or whatever method of note taking works for you. 

Assignment 4: I want you to go into your fathers office and look inside his desk for white powder in some kind of container or bag. It will taste very bitter but don't have to much because it's only for grownups. 

Assignment 5: Visit your Grandfathers home and look next to his bed where there are sure to be a variety of pill bottles. Look among them and find toady's spelling word which is VIAGRA. They are for a friend a very old friend who needs them. they are not for me. Kindly Bring in about five pills each they are blue. 

 I have added an extra assignment because during lunch I was eating and the mere thought of Smitty's mothers unsightliness made me lose my appetite. 

Assignment 6: Tonight while your older brother is asleep go into his bedroom and look inside his dresser for a some green stuff in a plastic bag. It will smell very much like skunk but somehow more pleasant. Don't eat it unless you know the cooking process which will be covered in our cooking lesson later in the year. Bring the bags to me and place them on my desk tomorrow with along with the VIAGRA and The white stuff. 

I look forward to grading your work tomorrow. Because you have so much work to do tonight I am going to let you leave early. Smitty I want you to stay after class and text the word UNSIGHTLY to me one thousand time. 

Class Dismissed

(Despite Harsh Critizizm from the Parent Teacher Association Mr. Drugs went on to win the Teacher of the Year, the following year)

Big Flats Be True To Yourself

A few months ago some guests and I donned costumes in preparation for the delicate art of advertising.  You see we wanted to make a short commercial for one of our favorite cheap beers, perhaps even the greatest of all cheap beers. It's called Big Flats. Its brewed by Walgreen's I guess. The Best part is that it only costs $2.99 for a whole six pack. We bought like twenty six six packs. and then went to work on the filming of our commercial. It went great with the help of some friends but tragedy struck when I accidentally deleted all of our priceless footage. Unfortunately I have to report that the footage is lost forever. But in its stead we ended up recording a much shittier version of the original commercial idea. In the version you will see below it should be quite apparent to you that our entire cast and crew is inebriated to the point of no return. Please Drink Responsibly and enjoy the Show.

We are in no way affiliated with Big Flats in any official sense. It's just cheap beer for guys with no money looking to party. 

My Friends are always Drunk

I have been quite busy and frantic this morning. Living life to the absolute fullest and richest. I enjoyed a refined breakfast of steak and eggs. The steak proved to be very nourishing and enriching to my tired frame. Upon leaving my place I stopped for coffee and a trip to the bank for a friendly conversation with a genuinely interested teller who really seemed to care about my deposit. There is much to do today. Some of my very best friends are calling me to meet them for drinks but its only 930 am...... Is that too early to get naughty?

Unsure of what to do I took a long stroll all the way to the lakefront where I came to rest upon a bench in the misty breeze of scenic lake Michigan. The lake is my favorite part of living in Chicago. I can remember when I first moved here I thought that living by the lake was like living by the ocean. Ha what a dumb ass. Actually I didn't really think that, I always knew the size of these large bodies of water. Speaking of bodies of water, isn't that what we are? We are flesh bags containing water and other goodies. I have a feeling that too much time has been spent on this subject for now.

Anyway. Listing to the sound of the lake I witnessed a bicycle rider punch an unsuspecting Asian man in the head as he rode by because the poor fellow was standing in the bike lane (Life in the bike Lane). Totally not cool bro. He should have just slapped his ass. Holy shit man. What the hell was that dudes problemo? I feel very aggravated by all the shit heads and dip shits here. My visit to the lake has been ruined. Back to the lab.

(Cue batman sound effects and spinning logo)

I spent a few hours writing in my trusty journal to calm my nerves and soothe my bitter frustrations. By comparison I am a new man, a better man, a more refined man than I had been earlier in the day. What a turn of events. As I look toward the evening I keep getting calls from my friends at the bar. I can't believe they are still drinking. Surely they are sustaining themselves by eating mini burgers and other appetizers. Should I meet them? Should I go out and try to be a good friend? Or should I stay home and sit alone in the dark plotting the demise of the corporate machine? I'm going out.

Brother Man

You can't stay on the farm forever. Eventually it's time to wake up and take your act to the city for a real evaluation. My brother tells me the best way to start fresh is to take a shower. 
 When we arrived at the hotel on orchard street. We ordered enough room service for ten people (we have been watching way to much man vs food lately) and ate enough for about 2 people.
 We walked over to the lake and told ourselves that today was gonna be different. Today we were gonna find out the real us, the inner us, the redeemed, the finally ready to be taught inner sage in all of us. We sat there listening to the lake and reading important books for nearly seven hours. 
Afterward we both felt more important prompting us to make reservations at a fancy restaurant. After the very sultry and polite host seated us we ate a salad before leaving early.
 My Brother told me that he felt bad for the host because every time she seated someone they would eventually leave. I told him that eventually everybody has to leave so that there are seats available. 
He nodded his head and we walked  for many miles of urban landscape before stopping at a local coffee bar to see if they had any coffee that was imported from other places. They did not like us very much. 
My Brother who always tells people what he thinks about them threatened to burn down the local coffee place. 
As we fled the scene this homeless guy stumbled out of an alley way and told us that "The same shit that happened to John Q happened to me." I'm not sure why but my Brother stabbed the homeless guy and we fled to Panama City Florida. How are things going for you back home?

High on Music?

Don't Get Addicted

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I seem to always have a song stuck in my head. They come and they go in two week increments. It has been this way as far back as I can remember. At first it was La Bamba and Don't Worry Be Happy. As a kid I would run around my Grandmother's living room dancing (as if on drugs.) Nowadays the songs just keep on coming and I have even started to make some of my own or mash ups of real and fake songs combined together for even more hilarity. The whole process is almost always the same. 

1. You hear a song and the groundwork is laid for future exposure to the melodies, rhythms, beat and vocals. 

2. You hear the song again but this time something clicks and all of the sudden you just cant stop humming along with the music even after the song is over. The rest of the day you hum and perhaps even sing what you know of the song to yourself. 

3.You find the song on you-tube or obtain your own personal copy of it and chronically watch or listen obsessively for days and nights on end. Reciting it everywhere you go, getting a natural high from it's presence in your life. People will get annoyed with you and wonder what the hell is wrong with you. "get a life that song is so old and lame" Don't let them get to you . 

4. You continue to sing the song but the passion has faded. (just like new jobs, Ha) You kind of just keep the memory of the song around while you unconsciously search  for a new musical fix. 

5. You hear a new song or an old favorite and the whole process repeats itself. 

Here is a list of some songs that I have been addicted to.

Higher Love by Steve Winwood

Just Give Me The Night by George Benson

Pump Pump by Snoop Doggy Dogg

Last Christmas by Wham!

Still The Same by Bob Seger

Just What I Needed by The Cars

Stand Up And Shout by Steel Dragon

I Just Wanna Love You by Akon Feat Snoop Dogg

I Know You See by Young Joc

Saved By Zero by The Fixx

No Time by The Guess Who

All My Loving by The Beatles

I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry

Stronger by Kanye West

Urgent by Foreigner 

Reach Out I'll Be There by The Four Tops

Ain't Too Proud To Beg by The Temptations

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

3 A.M. by Eminem

The Lottery by The Kottonmouth Kings

La Isle Bonita by Madonna

People Are Strange by The Doors

Intergalactic by The Beastie Boys

Talking In Your Sleep by The Romantics

Bang A Gong by Power Station

My Girl by The Temptations

Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner

Scenario by A Tribe Called Quest feat The LONS

Don't You Want Me by Human League

Abracadabra by The Steve Miller Band

Come on Ride the Train by The Quad City DJ's

The Entire Space Jam Soundtrack by Various Artists

I'm Still Standing by Elton John

Chin Check by NWA

Hello by NWA

As The World Turns by Eminem

Holding Back the Years by Simply Red

Ive got the Power by Snap

Finer Things by Steve Winwood

I Go Blind by Hootie and The Blowfish

Dale Fanella