My Friends are always Drunk

I have been quite busy and frantic this morning. Living life to the absolute fullest and richest. I enjoyed a refined breakfast of steak and eggs. The steak proved to be very nourishing and enriching to my tired frame. Upon leaving my place I stopped for coffee and a trip to the bank for a friendly conversation with a genuinely interested teller who really seemed to care about my deposit. There is much to do today. Some of my very best friends are calling me to meet them for drinks but its only 930 am...... Is that too early to get naughty?

Unsure of what to do I took a long stroll all the way to the lakefront where I came to rest upon a bench in the misty breeze of scenic lake Michigan. The lake is my favorite part of living in Chicago. I can remember when I first moved here I thought that living by the lake was like living by the ocean. Ha what a dumb ass. Actually I didn't really think that, I always knew the size of these large bodies of water. Speaking of bodies of water, isn't that what we are? We are flesh bags containing water and other goodies. I have a feeling that too much time has been spent on this subject for now.

Anyway. Listing to the sound of the lake I witnessed a bicycle rider punch an unsuspecting Asian man in the head as he rode by because the poor fellow was standing in the bike lane (Life in the bike Lane). Totally not cool bro. He should have just slapped his ass. Holy shit man. What the hell was that dudes problemo? I feel very aggravated by all the shit heads and dip shits here. My visit to the lake has been ruined. Back to the lab.

(Cue batman sound effects and spinning logo)

I spent a few hours writing in my trusty journal to calm my nerves and soothe my bitter frustrations. By comparison I am a new man, a better man, a more refined man than I had been earlier in the day. What a turn of events. As I look toward the evening I keep getting calls from my friends at the bar. I can't believe they are still drinking. Surely they are sustaining themselves by eating mini burgers and other appetizers. Should I meet them? Should I go out and try to be a good friend? Or should I stay home and sit alone in the dark plotting the demise of the corporate machine? I'm going out.

I'm not a much of a morning person

Every morning I mumble curse words into my pillow and throw it against the wall (because it never works) as my annoying alarm clock rings in my ears.