Dale The Angry Radio Guy

Last year in late September I traveled to Indiana where I have traveled many times in recent years to work on a film project. This was a fun project because I got to create all of the scenes without the other actors voice and without any of the music or visuals added in post. This project was a big lesson in blocking for me. I must say that these folks at Valiant Dead LLC really did a fine job with the lighting on this project. I went to college for radio and this was a fun role to do. It's funny I had a short stint working for a CBS station before I became disillusioned with the world of radio broadcasting and began to pursue Acting instead which has now led me to playing an angry ham radio operator. 
Kudos to James Treakle, and Valiant Dead LLC on a great job with this project Enjoy. 

Fall like the Trees Poem

I say and say the trees that they sway
Some how and some way some now and some late
Some bow and some great some vow and some hate
Summer and spring break sun beach and some waves
I'm preaching my ways while I'm deep in the maze
Ive been speaking this way since the seasons have changed
so ive taken to raking and also waking and baking
its just a daily routine its a day in the making
I had it crackin and mackin but then I was wackin
She was gassin and passin so i fucked her whole ass in
Like a secret assasin with a mask and nun chucks
If you can't spot the sucker that's cuz ya fuckin suck
I live life like a walk through the leaves in the fall
in this life we are the leaves till the rake gets us all :( sorry...

Also does anyone think that the leaves that grow anew every season tell stories about the leaves that had grown before? By the way pardon the cursewords and the general lewd rude and foul language but Frankly my dear I just don't give a damn. All I know is that the Ultimate Warrior is totally out of control!!!!!

Dale The Angry Basketball Player

Last Summer I shot this film with a small crew on a couple of summer days. It's the story of this guy Dale who lost his brother in a tragic accident which has driven a wedge between Dale and his parents who blame him. He also blames himself and often vents by obsessive  bouts of cleaning and working out. He also gets really pissed of when his girlfriend calls and asks him about his appointments.  It's funny that he and I have the same name. Ultimately Dale and his Father meet after years of avoiding each other. Sadly I hurt my right leg in an undisclosed basketball accident at 4:15pm Dec. 14 2013 so the footage in the film is the last time I was able to run and jump like a young man. Now I walk like an old groundskeeper. I hope you enjoy the film which was written and Directed by Max Milner who has sent me a script for a romantic dramady yes dramady....I know it's crazy right? Joshua Lustig was the director of photography. Assistant Director David Law who has a style all his own was always quick with a joke to keep things loose. An entire bathroom was destroyed in the making of this film. Enjoy.  

 

Mr. Freezy "I'm Back!"

In a shadow of doubt wrapped in a cloak
Not a laugh or a nod or even a joke
From desperate ways to desperate times
The six of hearts the spade of nines
The longest night the brightest day
There must be some other way
Summer days so cool and breezy 
Fresh like Febreeze its young frank Deezy
I make it hard while Y'all take it easy 
Y'all getting clean while I'm getting greasy 
Y'all getting grilled I'm getting Cheezy
Y'all ice queens and I'm Mr. Freezy
Awake in the rain what's the name of the game?
Insane from the pain I just say it in vain
my brain is out of frame like a track with out a train
Everything is all the same I'll say it over again

The Lonely Pirate

If your looking ahead you will never get behind. For me this has been a great year so far and it only seems to be getting better. I have a few new philosophies that I wanted to share with you. Currently I have this motto "Live as is you are already dead." It does sound sad but it gives you liberation from the dangerous confines of self doubt and fear. It's not healthy to go through life afraid of what is around the corner. Adapt and overcome. Mostly been writing songs lately gearing up to start doing open Mic's again. Music and writing kind of took a backseat when I started pursuing acting and working more. It feels good to be back. I have realized that I embody the image of a lit candle that lights other candles. 

and now a short poem about mirrors

mirror mirror so crystal clear 
you see it all but cannot hear
to see the world but hear no sound
like glass breaking on the ground
i saw a mirror get broken once
this guy had bad luck for six months 
the many mirrors in your vanity 
will lead to years of insanity

Also here is a video I did a couple of months back as a joke. It was actually filmed in my laundry room and one of my neighbors walked in on us during the shoot. Enjoy. 

Funky Drummer Son

Waiting alone at the train station the other night there was this old stuttering guy who kept staggering around and acting like a dumb ass. So I decided to leave because my night was ruined. I went walking around aimlessly for a long while searching for meaning, for purpose, for a thrill. I came upon an old underground juke joint that had all these dancers and real big shot types. There were also a few questionable street toughs sitting along the bar. I played some pool and bought a cigarette  from the bathroom attendant. Walking alone again I felt like one of the dogs from that movie with the voices of Robert Redford, Michael J. Fox and Rosie O'Donnell I believe they were called Shadow, Chance, and Sassy. What wonderful names. Far from home or some shit. Then I went to the all night burrito place to calm my nerves. This table of nerds was arguing the fate of the universe and then this girl sat down and very enthusiastically ordered some Chorizo. She was Beautiful. Blond and voluptuous, I was instantly attracted. I approached shyly and asked her to go on a date. She was excited. I was nervous but it did not show. I felt really confident and cool. Like those movie guys. Harrison Ford and shit. What's up ladies? I am here to ask you not to harass you. If you know what is up then you know I am talking to the Chorizo girl. 

The Rooftop Exit Guard

From Demonic Recession comes Economic Possesion
Pro Choice no Progression Having Less is the Lesson 
i'm a teacher no freshman put you to the test then
go stay at the west into go get some rest in
I'm best in Dark Roles evil eyes and a nose
from open to close oh the life that I chose
put people in rows have em coming to my shows
so cold the mic froze frost bite on my toes
ball just like d rose adidas on my clothes
watch your tongue and your sole try on my shoes 
so you know just how my life goes
and then i saw benny running with the bulls
friends and them foes, enemies and them bro's 
empties and them full's, meet the miller's and the coor's
the path and the course, regret and remorse
the windows and the doors, yo Franky sing the chorus

I'm on the rooftop exit gaurd
Diner on the boulevard (Diner on Boulevard)
Young BallHard
Cuz I'm always Ballin Hard (Always Ballin Hard)

Whatever or Something

A very important message from the commander elite. The most extreme physical stages will be preceded by a mental stage a discombobulated stage and a stage set constructed by an organized team of lizard performers in full on silver costumes. First we will have a feast among the stars and the most glamorous planets. I'm so excited about it. In other news there will be a four am cook off in the underwater tank below the shed in my neighbors barn, don't forget to bring your toothbrush. Meanwhile across town Snake Sanders and his dirty henchmen were hiding out in an abandoned box factory. "What are we gonna do Snake?" "Shut up you Fuck" Snake Sanders was a man of few words. Previously on running pains. "ouch dude I have a cramp from running so much. " "oh that sucks dude, I'll tell my dad about it." In the last four months there have been approximately four former founding fantastic four members remembered by those who forgot and those who are still willing to forget. In a smoky bar in the scruffy outskirts of town Billy sat alone drinking a glass of straight scotch that somebody bought him as a gift. "Gee Thanks?" He wondered aloud, unsure if he was truly thankful. Hold on Steve, I gotta make an announcement. "Attention all employees anyone seen using a white mop on the wood floor will be swiftly sent home and possibly terminated. Kindly use the more advanced blue mops and you will remain long into the season. That is all." I think it went something like that but who's counting. If you all will join me in applause I would like to welcome the man the myth the leg end yes I do me the end of a leg and not a myth or legend. I mean a foot at the end or bottom of a persons leg. Get it Leg End. Ha (shoots self in head) ha. You ever just let it ride and not really censor any crazy shit. Why not? Fuck em.

Franky Diesel aka Mr. Chorizo

Who really knows where the red fern grows?
I won then I wondered for once I suppose

I went ear to ear smelling like a rose

lost by the eyes and won by a nose

I make fear afraid I scare the scarecrow's 
Fuck he who walks behind the rows
I suppose I could pose but don't tag me in that photo
I got that chicken and risotto but you already know though
Got my slinky and my yo yo and my twinky for the ho hos
I block shots like Hope Solo got my khakis and a polo
they call me senor solo on that Gracia's por todo 
hot chicks be like oh no, roll with samwise and that frodo
similar to Mr. Crackle everyday I'm Crackling 

Feels so good to be back again and cracking

And don't cut me slack cuz I'm never slacking

I'm Weed Whacking and Stacking also Bossin and Flossin

The U.S. is Awesome, Fuck those brothers from Boston

Quest Love

In the Night, Till the Dawn 
What the Fuck is Going On
Like a Swan you Can Change
Sometime Life ain't all That Strange
Through the Range, in the Grove
Down the Coast, along the Cove
I row and Rove all across the Globe
Rearrange your Mold In the Cut or the fold
In the gutter and hold you gotta grow like the Mold Be Bold
Fortuitous Bitches Think It's Fun to have Riches
Succumb to Sex and you Bet You'll have Dishes
Successfulness only comes with stress
To be the best you gotta beat the rest 
Don't just beat your chest go achieve your quest

That's Right Get It

Well it's too early to call yet but it would appear I have fallen behind in the Blogvember department. It's okay though I still have time to turn this boat around. On the way to the harbor I wanted to tell you about how for the last five days in a row I have gotten out of bed before six in the morning. You would not believe all the stuff you can get done in the morning. From bills to chores to laundry and floors, in the morning you can truly do it all. In a way its like adding an extra four hour block to your day that you otherwise would not have had. I am waking up early with an axe to grind. Kicking ass in the morning and kicking more ass in the evening. Not sure how long this little sleep schedule will last but in the meantime is suits me just fine. Also I wanted to bring up the notion that old people don't necessarily enjoy getting up early. I have come to believe that it is actually the fact that they physically cannot stay up late anymore that they just pass out and then by default just so happen to wake up early. I feel great but in some ways I feel like an old man. You guy's keep me young man. 

I offer these tips to getting up early. 

1. Go to bed early (millions of old people can't be wrong)

2. Get out of the house (you must transcend simply getting out of bed)

3. Workout outside in the freezing cold alone and with a vendetta (BallHard)

4. Drink a 20 oz columbian coffee a glass of chocolate milk a five hour energy and two bananas (The Dale Fanella Breakfast at 711) about $8.50 (That's Right Get It)

5. Take a hot shower and then turn it cold and then Get The Fuck Out! (Swedish)

Inside the Struggling Actor's Studio

I know it's late but let's spend the night together. It is at times like these where I grow confused. Not able to sleep, not really awake, it's like what the fuck am I doing. Things are especially weird today because some worker dudes are coming over at 8 in the morning to replace my entire bathroom which has not been renovated since about 1902. Unbelievable I know. So my first thought is should I go to sleep now and just see what happens when I wake up or should I stay up writing for a long while? Not sure exactly but seems like the words are flowing at a decent rate so for now let's keep this party going. A paragraph is just a party of letters and words. I cannot remember the last time I remembered a dream. How about you? In other news I sit here and take stock of the things that I have.... To Be Honest... I am truly happy with my life. I almost seem to have found everything I have ever wanted. It's time to move forward and create new challenges and break new plateau's. Exciting things on the horizon for your pal Dale. Tomorrow night on of the short film's I had the pleasure of starring in over the past year "She Loves Me Not" will be screening at the Indie Incubator Film Festival held at 26 west Division in the heart of Chicago's GoldCoast at the original Mother's. Seeing as how I found out about this just last night I am pretty excited. I have never viewed the film in a room full of strangers and I would love to see peoples reactions. It's crazy to think that just a year ago I was working on "SLMN" with my pals from Versa Independent Productions and I was all like "oh how exciting I have a role." Where as now I have a full roles I'm working on and I can feel improvement in my performances. I have done my share of bad projects over the year but in reality you have to make mistakes to keep the ball rolling. I almost prefer the phrase "keep the ball bouncing" as I am an avid basketball fan but whatever "keep the ball rolling" really rolls off the tongue a lot better. Now the question becomes "What is gonna be the breakout role?" Something tells me I may need to get away from the independent film world and really begin to pursue agencies. I need representation. The talent is there. This weekend I am playing this really great boyfriend named...well actually I probably can't say too much about it yet but I think this is gonna be one of the best roles yet. I am very happy with life. Let's see what other post's we can whip up tonight. BTW here is a link to "She Loves Me Not." 

Tats for Tits

I hum and I stroll I Pass through the toll 
I play all the roles OH MY GOD It's the Trolls 
I sea like the gulls scoring goals like the pro's 
Yes i suppose not frosty but froze 
I burn like your nose put them lines in a row
Come back like the crow so happy I grow
How else would you know? This ain't a fashion show
Gadget lets go go, go go gadget so retro did a show at the metro
But people came to see Jethro and some artists from death row
But I'm hell no, Let's go Living in Chicago
Ya ll know about them bourbon boys
Making that suburban noise

Day and NIght

Isn't it great how when it gets cold the things we do indoors suddenly seem more enjoyable. I'm listening to my roommate playing records in the other room and I can see him bobbing his head and getting all into the rhythm with his limbs. Meanwhile I'm at my desk typing away even though I'm supposed to leave for work any minute. I hate working at night but something about it is so cool and mysterious to me. For five long years I worked the graveyard shift and lived in a fantasy world of vampires and back alley wine bags. You have know idea what is going on in this city. I feel like I deserve an honorary masters degree in youtube film studies. Night and day, Day and night, one is bright and sweet delight, the other is gloom except for the moon, but both have a place in my heart. 

Blogvember Continues...

The Bread Song

Can i have some bread please
Do you have oil and Parmesan cheese
On rolls with the butter to give your buns a squeeze
Like bread i get baked cuz i'm frank deez
Make the bread take the bread getting head late in bed

Wake and Bake and Breaking Bread and Making Breaded Steak Again
I throw the bread but only for the ducks
You want some bread, well i don't give a fuck
American Keg Men we roll with the bread man
Gave bread to a dead man put bread in a bed pan
Breaded Breakfast in Bed I got the mother fucking Bread

Be Like A Plant

I can't believe November is here already. It seems like just yesterday I was out in Muncie, IN filming "She Loves Me Not" my first lead in a short film. I guess what I consider funny is that at that time I felt so unsure of where I was going and what I was doing with my life. I am still not entirely sure but I have a much better idea than before. I know I am strong enough for whatever may stand in my way. I have decided to let you guys in. To let you get close to me, or another way to put would be to say that from now on I will be more revealing regarding my feelings. Also my run on sentences and constant disregard for punctuation and grammar. (sorry Mrs. Willy) I'm working to get paid and getting paid to work. What could be better. I have a ton of ideas, a little money in my pocket and a few friends to get me high. I love my life. When I was in middle school I had a paper route. One day when I was making my deliveries I began to wish that I could assume the identity of other boys at my school. I couldn't skate board or draw, the girls didn't like me, I wasn't good at sports. I had no sense of self. I suppose I ran to comedy as a means of coping. If everyone is laughing at you they don't really have a chance to find extra stuff to make fun of you about. I made an ass of myself a lot. I still do, but it's different now. Now I am self assured. That night making the deliveries if a magic genie had come down and said "Would you like to trade lives with another boy?" I probably would have said yes. It took me a little while to realize but It eventually became apparent to me that I already was better than those other guys. Its almost like your a television and you have control of your own settings but you just don't know it. You see others who can be really loud and bright but most people are not in touch with how to control themselves. You just have to find what you like to do. What you are good at. What get's a reaction from others. What makes you feel good. Oh God. This starting to remind me of a blog I wrote awhile back called "Become What You Are" it also reminds me of another one I wrote even more recently called "Do The Things That Make You Great" I'm pretty big on self motivation. I feel like most people live life like an animal. They have a healthy young life then they get old and die after a few winters. I am like a plant. I grow stronger and stronger every year. My connection to the earth grows deeper and my reach toward the sky becomes greater. My heart beats like a drum. I am on the up ramp to the stars. Follow your dreams kids. 

P.S.
Sorry today I just felt like writing some self absorbed bull shit. 

Seasonal Depression

Hello Everyone. It's that time of year again. It's getting colder, the leaves are falling off the trees. The days have gotten shorter and the nights have gotten longer and lonelier than ever. Sometime on those late nights I sit alone and feel the blues. Maybe you yourself have experienced symptoms of Seasonal Depression. I recommend the following. 

1. Get Up Early, sleeping in all day is depressing enough as it is.

2. Eat Dark Chocolate, It fights unseasonal depression so it must work

3. Work out, get that blood flowing, bonus for working out in the elements. Far more bad ass

4. Practice Smiling, I notice that when I smile consciously I actually become happier. Just Fake It. 

5. Bossing and Flossing, Take command of situations and Floss often for that little extra effort. Boom. 

6. Watch a Game and Drink Some Beer With your Friends. Enough Said. 

7. Find away to grill outside. Something about Fire, Meat, Cold, equals Awesome. Primal Urges. 

8. Plowing and Chowing. No you sick fucks. It's about plowing driveways and chowing on biscuits and gravy. I don't know what you were thinking?

9. Watch the Departed once a month for all of November. Trust me it's Feckin Hilarious after awhile. 

10. Go around to bar's and try to act like staff Sargent Dignam It's really funny.

11. Take a tour of a brewery. I remember my first beer. 

Dream LIfe

If life is a dream, I'm awake for the first time

At night the moon gleams, I sit and sip wine 

The sun comes up, I expect to grind it out 

Expressions espresso and the express route 

Especially effortless, F the world no doubt 

So much for clout but what about the Benjamin's 

If you wanna eat out go to fucking Bennigans

Throw out, enough of these shenanigans 

I'll find a good one, every now and then 

I'm living on a cloud, I'm never comin down again

I felt, I could of been a better friend

In hell, you gotta be the better man

Hope I get well, sicker than Ive ever been

Exhale, smoke, sit down grab a pen

I don't know, it just started happening

I'm on a role lights camera ac-tion 

The End

Blogvember 

Warehouse Factories.

The Other Day when I was walking home I saw this group of tribal dancers performing a ceremony nearby. These dancers peaked my interest and I decided to stay and take a look. The dancers all wore beach attire as if this was florida or some shit. I'm like yo it's fucking freezing out here what the fuck is ya'll doin? They ignored my calls and continued with the task at hand. One by one they flowed around in a big human chain looking like a giant awkward humanipede (human plus centipede) rather than the term human centipede which means something entirely different and opposite of what I mean. Oh shit, I've gotten off track again. The dancers broke up the chain and began buzzing around on their own like moths near a flame. The fire seemed to grow bigger and brighter until finally I jumped over the fence with a can of gas I had acquired from a nearby gas station. Upon reaching the fire I poured gas everywhere and burned the dance floor down. Once everyone was gone I began to perform my own dance. Just me and my bag of bones under the stars with smoke rising out of the ground. I danced and jumped with great delight until the wee hours of the morn. It was then that the tribal dancers came back with a bunch of broken bottles and threw many shards of glass at me without my consent. I ran away and managed to spend the night in a abandoned warehouse factory. And yes I mean a factory where they make outhouses. Blogvember Continues. 

Blogvember

A lot of people think that I forgot but I would never leave you guys. I mean come on. It's Blogvember, it's that special time of the year where your old pal Dale sits down at his desk in his crazy fun house room of pictures and decides to tell some stories. How about it? Okay well then let's get started. It was  a late night and I was deranged out of my gourd with a full head of booms, onsie sauce and a variety of spirits. I was approached by a group of floating lobsters each one bigger than the next. They began to click their tongs in unison and I started to worry. Quickly I found a large pot of boiling water and I dove inside hoping they would follow. Much to my dismay they did not fall for my trap and I was left horribly scalded and had to endure a short stay at Illinois Masonic Medical center. However Late one night at the hospital the lobsters returned for a western style showdown in the hallway. I was out manned and outgunned. Just then the elevator doors burst open and "The Gunwerk" boys emerged. 
Now the lobsters had finally met their match. Who are the gunwerk boys? Just some guys I work with who move a lot of shit and clean shit but they all love to work hard and drink beer and drink nutrie and refer to their arms as guns. Anyway the gunwerk boys and I kicked the living shit out of the lobsters and then quickly found a humongous pot of boiling water and tossed the overgrown lobsters inside. That night we ordered pizza and drank beer to commemorate our victory. although i was very badly burned i showed the lobsters a thing or two about gunwerk. Blog Responsibly