Funky Drummer Son

Waiting alone at the train station the other night there was this old stuttering guy who kept staggering around and acting like a dumb ass. So I decided to leave because my night was ruined. I went walking around aimlessly for a long while searching for meaning, for purpose, for a thrill. I came upon an old underground juke joint that had all these dancers and real big shot types. There were also a few questionable street toughs sitting along the bar. I played some pool and bought a cigarette  from the bathroom attendant. Walking alone again I felt like one of the dogs from that movie with the voices of Robert Redford, Michael J. Fox and Rosie O'Donnell I believe they were called Shadow, Chance, and Sassy. What wonderful names. Far from home or some shit. Then I went to the all night burrito place to calm my nerves. This table of nerds was arguing the fate of the universe and then this girl sat down and very enthusiastically ordered some Chorizo. She was Beautiful. Blond and voluptuous, I was instantly attracted. I approached shyly and asked her to go on a date. She was excited. I was nervous but it did not show. I felt really confident and cool. Like those movie guys. Harrison Ford and shit. What's up ladies? I am here to ask you not to harass you. If you know what is up then you know I am talking to the Chorizo girl. 

Whatever or Something

A very important message from the commander elite. The most extreme physical stages will be preceded by a mental stage a discombobulated stage and a stage set constructed by an organized team of lizard performers in full on silver costumes. First we will have a feast among the stars and the most glamorous planets. I'm so excited about it. In other news there will be a four am cook off in the underwater tank below the shed in my neighbors barn, don't forget to bring your toothbrush. Meanwhile across town Snake Sanders and his dirty henchmen were hiding out in an abandoned box factory. "What are we gonna do Snake?" "Shut up you Fuck" Snake Sanders was a man of few words. Previously on running pains. "ouch dude I have a cramp from running so much. " "oh that sucks dude, I'll tell my dad about it." In the last four months there have been approximately four former founding fantastic four members remembered by those who forgot and those who are still willing to forget. In a smoky bar in the scruffy outskirts of town Billy sat alone drinking a glass of straight scotch that somebody bought him as a gift. "Gee Thanks?" He wondered aloud, unsure if he was truly thankful. Hold on Steve, I gotta make an announcement. "Attention all employees anyone seen using a white mop on the wood floor will be swiftly sent home and possibly terminated. Kindly use the more advanced blue mops and you will remain long into the season. That is all." I think it went something like that but who's counting. If you all will join me in applause I would like to welcome the man the myth the leg end yes I do me the end of a leg and not a myth or legend. I mean a foot at the end or bottom of a persons leg. Get it Leg End. Ha (shoots self in head) ha. You ever just let it ride and not really censor any crazy shit. Why not? Fuck em.

Super Lyrical

Lyrically I’m like an athletic freak when I write

 So I’m tight at open mics that I frequent at night

 When I speak on the mic  in a beacon of light

 I’m kinda weird and i'm white but still keeping it hype

I need a miller lite! When I step off stages

 Take a seat at the bar with some hot babes and write pages

 I’m writin bars at bars with with local rap stars

 I’m writin bars at barbeques with dudes in my back yard

 Cuz art work pays off take no days off

 Work hard play soft smoke weed, play golf

 I often stop at coffee shops to sit and jot

  I get lost in thought with the ink I blot

  I sit and think a lot high off decent pot

 I never creep or stop whether I sleep or not

  I think this coffee drink I got is freaking hot

  Lyrically on a streak that can never be stopped

The Eternal Question

the pain and the greed the need for green weed
so hungry and dazed if i ever get blazed
but to settle a score for once and for all
would you rather have weed or adderall
now weed indeed is off the wall
but what about the adderall 
it makes me want to clean and grind
so anxious i could lose my mind
but one for all the rest of time
to pop a pill or smoke a dime?
to rip a bong or snort a line?
but wait a minute kindly folks
Now Ive been known to tell some jokes
of prescription pills and taking tokes
now what if it was all a hoax
that there is only one
when there is two theres twice to do
both weed and adderrall for you 
so you can balance out the hits 
with crushing up and taking sniffs
each one is yours these treasured gifts
now have a beer and take some sips

America

Wear What You Wore

I had a speech teacher in college who told the class a story about how she attended a party wearing a very short skirt. This skirt was much shorter than what she normally wore. When she got to the party she felt awkward and self conscious about it. She kept tugging at the skirt the whole night and let it ruin her attitude. She said that afterward she decided to never feel that way again. She came up with a rule called "Wear What You Wore" meaning whatever your wear to an event must be embraced and not hidden. This was a great lesson to learn. I have found that when I wear things with authority (backpacks in bars, black eyes, work uniforms, etc.) it usually elicits more conversations and attention from strangers. its like they want to know why you are doing this one random thing that no one else is doing. "Why do you have that backpack?' Everyone always wants to know. "Whats the story with that outfit?" It works like a charm. Who would have thought that such a simple concept could break so much ice. In fact sometimes I go out intentionally wearing ridiculous stuff just to see what happens. Not everything you learn in school is on the syllabus.Thanks for the lesson Teach. 

Dale Fanella