Funky Drummer Son

Waiting alone at the train station the other night there was this old stuttering guy who kept staggering around and acting like a dumb ass. So I decided to leave because my night was ruined. I went walking around aimlessly for a long while searching for meaning, for purpose, for a thrill. I came upon an old underground juke joint that had all these dancers and real big shot types. There were also a few questionable street toughs sitting along the bar. I played some pool and bought a cigarette  from the bathroom attendant. Walking alone again I felt like one of the dogs from that movie with the voices of Robert Redford, Michael J. Fox and Rosie O'Donnell I believe they were called Shadow, Chance, and Sassy. What wonderful names. Far from home or some shit. Then I went to the all night burrito place to calm my nerves. This table of nerds was arguing the fate of the universe and then this girl sat down and very enthusiastically ordered some Chorizo. She was Beautiful. Blond and voluptuous, I was instantly attracted. I approached shyly and asked her to go on a date. She was excited. I was nervous but it did not show. I felt really confident and cool. Like those movie guys. Harrison Ford and shit. What's up ladies? I am here to ask you not to harass you. If you know what is up then you know I am talking to the Chorizo girl. 

Franky Diesel aka Mr. Chorizo

Who really knows where the red fern grows?
I won then I wondered for once I suppose

I went ear to ear smelling like a rose

lost by the eyes and won by a nose

I make fear afraid I scare the scarecrow's 
Fuck he who walks behind the rows
I suppose I could pose but don't tag me in that photo
I got that chicken and risotto but you already know though
Got my slinky and my yo yo and my twinky for the ho hos
I block shots like Hope Solo got my khakis and a polo
they call me senor solo on that Gracia's por todo 
hot chicks be like oh no, roll with samwise and that frodo
similar to Mr. Crackle everyday I'm Crackling 

Feels so good to be back again and cracking

And don't cut me slack cuz I'm never slacking

I'm Weed Whacking and Stacking also Bossin and Flossin

The U.S. is Awesome, Fuck those brothers from Boston

That's Right Get It

Well it's too early to call yet but it would appear I have fallen behind in the Blogvember department. It's okay though I still have time to turn this boat around. On the way to the harbor I wanted to tell you about how for the last five days in a row I have gotten out of bed before six in the morning. You would not believe all the stuff you can get done in the morning. From bills to chores to laundry and floors, in the morning you can truly do it all. In a way its like adding an extra four hour block to your day that you otherwise would not have had. I am waking up early with an axe to grind. Kicking ass in the morning and kicking more ass in the evening. Not sure how long this little sleep schedule will last but in the meantime is suits me just fine. Also I wanted to bring up the notion that old people don't necessarily enjoy getting up early. I have come to believe that it is actually the fact that they physically cannot stay up late anymore that they just pass out and then by default just so happen to wake up early. I feel great but in some ways I feel like an old man. You guy's keep me young man. 

I offer these tips to getting up early. 

1. Go to bed early (millions of old people can't be wrong)

2. Get out of the house (you must transcend simply getting out of bed)

3. Workout outside in the freezing cold alone and with a vendetta (BallHard)

4. Drink a 20 oz columbian coffee a glass of chocolate milk a five hour energy and two bananas (The Dale Fanella Breakfast at 711) about $8.50 (That's Right Get It)

5. Take a hot shower and then turn it cold and then Get The Fuck Out! (Swedish)

Kick in the door waving the forty

Today is December 2nd 2012. It was alarmingly nice outside today so my Brother Dane and I set sail for adventure. We dissected the lyrics and song structure of the late great notorious big aka Frank White. I don't know if I have mentioned this in a previous post but I just want to say that I am big fan of Biggy. I am a Biggy guy, I never got to deep into Tupac. If you go to Wendy's they have Biggy size not Tupac size. Ahh whatever. So Dane and I went to the basketball court in our never ending quest to never call fouls no matter the stakes or blatantness. Prison Rules. I always like when Biggy said " many nights I perform like mike, anyone Tyson Jordan Jackson action packed guns ridiculous"

I tried to go to shitbucks to use the Internet but it was no use, the entire place was filled with douche bags. I took a long walk and decided that it is official I like walking. When I was young I use to dream of one day growing old. It looks like all the hard work is paying off so far this year. I am really excited about some upcoming stuff that I'm gonna be posting later this month or next week. So whose up for a little late night luncheon. I went to crunch on some chips but Von Los stole them from my snack drawer. I am excited to report that I have received word from Von Los. 

Dale Fanella Working For A Living

Contact me at your leisure if you ever need a actor, performer, emcee, writer, model. I  also excel at hauling kegs and brand ambassador work.

Top Ten Things That Matter In Everyday Life

Punctuality

Making a late payment and showing up late are essentially the same thing.  When you show up late, you are not only wasting other peoples time (bringing down moral) but giving the impression that you are incompetent.  My coach used to say "Being 15 minutes early is better than being 5 minutes late." Sometimes you can't help it and when that happens just take responsibility for what happened, nobody likes excuses. Time is money, how are you spending yours? No one ever got fired for being early.  

Appearance

Most of the time a simple costume is all the audience needs to believe in a character. In our society we all  label/judge people based on the clothing they wear or don't wear. Don't let your fashion choices send the wrong message about you. Take pride in your appearance and remember that someone is always watching. Make sure that when you engage in a job or activity you at least look the part. People always judge a book by its cover. Often times what you see, really is what you get.  Just ask this guy.