Fall like the Trees Poem

I say and say the trees that they sway
Some how and some way some now and some late
Some bow and some great some vow and some hate
Summer and spring break sun beach and some waves
I'm preaching my ways while I'm deep in the maze
Ive been speaking this way since the seasons have changed
so ive taken to raking and also waking and baking
its just a daily routine its a day in the making
I had it crackin and mackin but then I was wackin
She was gassin and passin so i fucked her whole ass in
Like a secret assasin with a mask and nun chucks
If you can't spot the sucker that's cuz ya fuckin suck
I live life like a walk through the leaves in the fall
in this life we are the leaves till the rake gets us all :( sorry...

Also does anyone think that the leaves that grow anew every season tell stories about the leaves that had grown before? By the way pardon the cursewords and the general lewd rude and foul language but Frankly my dear I just don't give a damn. All I know is that the Ultimate Warrior is totally out of control!!!!!

Snakes and Kittens Poem

Much has been written about a sweet little kitten

A glove and a mitten for fingers to fit in

So good for the getting for goodness sake

I brought my own pet a long white snake

Careful young cat don’t let the him provoke you

He’ll slink  and He’ll slither and slide up to choke you

So don’t play with snakes stick to chickens and goats

But make no mistake the snake can still hope

Of a poke and a stroke till your innards are broke

Then I play with my snake and start doing coke

Hanging With Frank

If your hanging with Frank you best bee feeling a buzz
Feeling better than ever better even on drugs

Never under the weather pull from under the rug

And when I’m feeling the love its even better because

Man I’m taking a trip I hit the road with my budz

And i'm taking Sip Mud Lite in my cup

And I’m taking a dip Gach & Chips and some chicks

Were at Lake Michigan chilling Buffalo Chicken Strips

Boom shakalaka we be the chief rockers
NBA jam kick it FIFA like soccer
We got the root beer and the whipped vodka
We act proper you are a malaka

Pop a couple pills until it ain't pretty
Ballpark Frank got the moves like Schmitty
At the strip club we all getting shitty
Big fat motherfucking titties in the city

I Got The Bugers Burgers Burgers Burgers Burgers

Sunday afternoon sitting in the cool breeze eating an American burger. What could be better. I ate burgers everyday for one summer. I wish I had stats on my lifetime of burgers. Todays Burger was unique. I had been craving burgers all day and finally decided to make the dreaded burger walk. On the way I saw a Panera bread and I kind of wanted to get my soup on but it was all for not. I continued on my journey and eventually made contact with a burger retail outlet known as Five Guys Even though there was more than five guys running the place. I got the burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers. I also got fries. Men's Health says that five guys meals are bad for you but I don't care because they taste good and Burgers are American. Now Every Sunday I go for a long adventure walk and treat myself to some good old American Cuisine. MMMM MMMM MMMMM so tasty. Hot Burgers and Fries Made To Order. I am not even getting paid for this. I just really like the burgers. Sometimes when I meet people for the first time I ask them "Excuse Me Do You Have Burgers?"

Dale Fanella Working For A Living

Contact me at your leisure if you ever need a actor, performer, emcee, writer, model. I  also excel at hauling kegs and brand ambassador work.

Any Questions?

Can I Ask You A Few Questions?

If life is a marathon when do we get time to train for it?

Is throwing an apple through a window considered a technological breakthrough?

What does the late bird get to eat?

Should the bottom of the ocean have a wet floor sign?

Are stinky feet the original stocking stuffer?

If you stood taller than everyone else, would they all understand you?

If Cows could prescribe prescription medication to people. Would they work at a Farmacy?

If you write a Slogan on a baseball and throw it through the window of an advertising firm, is that a good pitch?

In anger management is there an assistant manager?

Is trick or treat a trick question?

If a broken clock is right twice a day, how many times is it wrong?

Should the punishment for breaking and entering be

fixing and leaving?

How do you talk about a code of silence?

Can a nose run a marathon? If it won, would they say it won by a nose?

If a witch makes a mistake is it considered misspelling?

Do stars take meteor showers and wear asteroid belts?

In the gaming world, is it good to be considered “all thumbs?”

If a group of vegans sit at a table is it considered a vegetable?

Is procrastinating at the top of your to do list?

When humpty dumpty fell, why did everyone try to put him back together when they could have just had a good breakfast?

If a pilot forgets to zip up his pants, is he then traveling in a no fly zone?

If you play golf while handcuffed is it called, Cuff links?

If you throw toxic sludge on a lamp, is that light pollution?

If you fall down in an elevator while it’s going up, do you break even?

If you clean your meat, is that a polish sausage?

If an elf was crowned king, would he be called Elfvis?

When you meet your obligations, is it polite to introduce yourself?

If you write something while sitting down, is it possible to stand by your word?

When your car breaks down should you take it to see a shrink?

If you construct a life boat out of soda cans, might it be called a root beer float?

Do you need rolling papers for smoked sausage?

Why do most shallow people have deep seeded issues?

Is slowly eating fast food considered, wasting your time?

If you straighten and shuffle papers for thirty minutes can you then say that you spent a half hour jogging?

Is a locomotive a train or a crazy idea?

If I wanted to call myself to talk about personal matters, should I get an I-Phone?

What is the difference between staying up too early and going to bed too late?

How many rooms are in a house of cards?

How many hands does it take to hold a grudge?

In theatre classes, are students encouraged to “act up?”

When you meet your doom, should you bring an introductory gift?

Is there any strength in letters?

How come there are never any beds in restrooms?

If you’re unsure about how to change your morning routine, should you just sleep on it?

If you bring a fishing pole on an airplane, might you be….fly fishing?

If someone loses a hotdog should you check your buns accordingly?

If you pack a fanny pack, is it then called a “fanny packed?”

If you get a hangnail on a cliff, is it considered a cliffhanger?

If you are hard of hearing does that mean you prefer easy listening?

If Darth Vader is on your Elevator is it then considered an Elevader?

What exactly is phony bologna? And is it FDA approved?

How much sleep constitutes a little rest?

Do pigs bring home the most bacon?

If your eyes really are bigger than your stomach, should you really be worried about finishing your meal?

When you purchase a sweater should you buy deodorant too?

If you break your 12 inch sub, can you take it to the foot doctor?

Is an Arnold Palmer a golf tea?

When you see a fork in the road, did the spoon and the knife take the paths on either side?

When aliens touchdown, will they go for the extra point?

If you run out of breath while putting your pants on, should that be called “panting?”

If you go to the mall and hop around very quietly while making your purchases, is that called “Shhhh hopping?”

Should spiders be credited with creating the first website?

If a Baker drops thirteen muffins on the floor, would that be called a “Bakers Doesn’t?”

If you lived a peaceful solitary life in the mountains meditating and eating nachos, would that make you a “chip monk?”

Should you be upset if a mime gives you the silent treatment?

If laughter is the best medicine where can I get a prescription?

Why didn’t the three little pigs just get brinks home security system?

How is it possible that Tom Cruise always completes these supposedly impossible missions?

Do these new hybrid sharks run on electricity?

When the chips are down should you just switch to pretzels?

Can you drink minute maid out of an hour glass?

How much man money can a duck fit in its bill fold?

If you fail to meet your obligations, should you reschedule the meeting?

If there is plenty of fish in the sea why is seafood so expensive?

If you leave a bread crumb trail, should you worry about the elderly stealing your bread crumbs to feed hungry ducks?

If you donate your pipe organ does that qualify you as being an organ donor?

Why is it that whenever someone spills the beans there is never any rice to go with it?

Is having the pick of the litter bad if you own a litter box?

Why is it that when something smells funny no one ever laughs?