Big Flats Be True To Yourself

A few months ago some guests and I donned costumes in preparation for the delicate art of advertising.  You see we wanted to make a short commercial for one of our favorite cheap beers, perhaps even the greatest of all cheap beers. It's called Big Flats. Its brewed by Walgreen's I guess. The Best part is that it only costs $2.99 for a whole six pack. We bought like twenty six six packs. and then went to work on the filming of our commercial. It went great with the help of some friends but tragedy struck when I accidentally deleted all of our priceless footage. Unfortunately I have to report that the footage is lost forever. But in its stead we ended up recording a much shittier version of the original commercial idea. In the version you will see below it should be quite apparent to you that our entire cast and crew is inebriated to the point of no return. Please Drink Responsibly and enjoy the Show.

We are in no way affiliated with Big Flats in any official sense. It's just cheap beer for guys with no money looking to party. 

Rock and Roll Man

"When I was growing up it was different man. It was all about rock and roll. Now It's all about bullshit. I have had enough of these wannabes and doppelgangers man. It's still here it hasn't gone anywhere, I don't know if you people just don't understand or you forgot or something. But It's not hard to see once you connect the dots. It's Rock and Roll Man......It's rock and roll. I often go to the record store to check out the rock and roll section afterward it is typical for me to eat beef sandwiches and talk about my ideals into a tape recorder that a friend gave me. It was a long day but like so many I forget why I even got up this morning or afternoon. A lot of people don't like Bob Seger. I like Bob Seger. I felt like he never got the respect he deserved. Against the wind is a fucking classic song. Still the same has angels singing backup. It was rock and roll man. Jim Morrison was Rock and Roll. The 80's was Rock and Roll. The Beatles Man, That was Rock and Fucking Roll. Kurt Cobain was Rock and Roll  Where is the fucking rock and roll nowadays. In the Past? NO IT'S Still Here. Living on in this strange man. This random dude who lives in a shit hole and loves rock and roll. He looks kind of familiar." 

I Got The Bugers Burgers Burgers Burgers Burgers

Sunday afternoon sitting in the cool breeze eating an American burger. What could be better. I ate burgers everyday for one summer. I wish I had stats on my lifetime of burgers. Todays Burger was unique. I had been craving burgers all day and finally decided to make the dreaded burger walk. On the way I saw a Panera bread and I kind of wanted to get my soup on but it was all for not. I continued on my journey and eventually made contact with a burger retail outlet known as Five Guys Even though there was more than five guys running the place. I got the burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers burgers. I also got fries. Men's Health says that five guys meals are bad for you but I don't care because they taste good and Burgers are American. Now Every Sunday I go for a long adventure walk and treat myself to some good old American Cuisine. MMMM MMMM MMMMM so tasty. Hot Burgers and Fries Made To Order. I am not even getting paid for this. I just really like the burgers. Sometimes when I meet people for the first time I ask them "Excuse Me Do You Have Burgers?"